Yesterday I had a meeting with HR, which confirmed what I already knew...since I haven't worked a year AND 1000 hours yet at my job, I have no job security with HMC. So when I go out on maternity leave on the 7th of April (or sooner) they can post my job. Will they? They probably will, since I am not willing to go back for more than 1 day per week and a weekend a month max.
I didn't expect to feel what I felt, however, upon hearing this official news. I felt slightly "punished" I guess. Like I was loosing my job on account of having a baby. I also felt all this, probably undue, pressure to go back to work right away. Let alone go back to work right away, to go back to work at all.
I have wrestled for a while about working, while being a mom. I have been convicted over and over about staying home with our son. I'm not saying this is how every woman, family or marriage should feel about this. To explain further I will direct your attention to GirlTalk blog, yet again! The Lord is so kind to provide encouragement during this time of decision making. In the land of Jersey there is not much encouragement, I have found, for mothers who want to stay at home full-time, let alone home school (we'll not get into that!).
So pray for us with this transition and pray that we would be seeking the Lord's wisdom in all things... "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." (James 1:5)