The tears of a Mama

Lately I have not known how to handle myself. I have been watching the swift changes in my nearly 1 year old son and I think back to a year ago. As I held my son in the hospital I felt the contentedness of a new Mama. I never thought I'd feel that. The newness of it all was overwhelming, his little toes, his little mouth, hit little tiny body! By the time I got home I was soon overwhelmed by the crazy exhaustion I felt. I wished every single day away. I wanted him to be bigger, to not nurse every 1-2 hours. I wished that he would sleep at night. I wished that I wouldn't be crying all the time. I wished that he would acknowledge that I am his mama and that he loves me. I wished, I wanted...

How shameful, I never realized the gift of the days with little baby Liam. I want those days back. I will never get those days back.

So, as I've been packing away infant odds and ends I have been praying for another baby. I have also been praying for a better mindset when/if the next one comes. If only I weren't so depraved, perhaps I would see what is in front of me and not miss God's blessings. I know I caught some of them...but I want to catch all of them, like goldfish in a net, just swoop them all up and take them for my own.

Can one ever really live like this? Can one's eyes be open at all times to what God is doing, how He is working? I shed tears over this: that I cannot be closer to God, close enough to see what He is doing in my life at the moment. Hindsight really is 20/20, sadly. So I will continue to pray daily that I would have my eyes on God and that I wouldn't miss out on the blessings life that He is giving me.

Ever Thankful

I have been asked by a friend to blog...so here I am...blogging. I kind of forgot about this little place on the internet, but maybe I'll revive it?

I really love this blog http://www.aholyexperience.com/ and have been challenged by her lists of "1000 endless gifts". I have been keeping lists myself, especially when the days get rough. As I am prone to be anxious about anything and everything (and have nearly driven myself to insanity), I turn to God's Word to set my mind right. I believe that Phil 4:6 tells me that when I am anxious pray to the Lord and to not forget to be THANKFUL. So, in turn, I write down what I am thankful for...here's a list for you:

1. A husband who loves me

2. A home

3. William Isaiah Pearce

4. Salvation

5. Daily Bread- physical and spiritual

6. A church body

7. A loving family

8. Sunshine

9. Two cats

10. Books

11. Spiritual revival

12. The ability to observe a legacy

13. July 16, 2009- Grandpop's going home

14. The Lenten season

15. Clean laundry

16. Tea

17. A happy baby who says "Mama" and gives kisses

18. Lunch with friends on a Sunday afternoon

19. Promises of Spring

20. Fernando Ortega's music

21. Coupons that keep an abundance of food in our pantry

22. The love of my Grandmother

23. My Grandmom's faithful witness to her grandchildren

24. Clean sheets

25. That no one is totally unique

Rockin' Green

So I have tried a new detergent on my diapers. And I love it. My diapers smell excellent every time I wash and they have never looked brighter! My only qualm is that it is advertised as a scented laundry detergent for diapers, but I haven't really noticed a scent...Maybe it is because my diapers were pretty funky before trying this. Anyhow, I'll let you know how they smell after I get my replacement diapers. To get your own Rockin' Green go here.

Furthermore, you did hear me correctly, I said "replacement diapers". It just so happens that Cotton Babies will replace your diapers if you have a problem with them. My BumGenius laundry tabs have bit the dust...therefore my Velcro is biting it too! So, I've read all the terms and conditions, it seems they will replace my diapers. My friend Megan got her's replaced, for the same reason. It also seems I have the old laundry tabs on my diapers. New diapers, new laundry tabs, happy Mama.

Cloth Diapers, Breast feeding and baby food

I recall back in the day when Liam was just a wee peanut inside of me...I told people I wanted to cloth diaper my child. The usual response was: "You will give it up after a month, it's disgusting." Well, I have to say, I don't really find it disgusting and we're going on 5 months of cloth diapers. I LOVE CLOTH! My reasons are myriad...

1. They are cute. This may sound superficial, but it's the truth, they are really really cute.

2. They are cost effective.

3. I never have to buy diapers at the store :-)

4. There are no chemicals in the diapers.

5. Less diaper rash.

6. I always have diapers on hand.

7. They don't stink up my house, if they are stinky, I wash them.

8. The amount of trash at my curbside is the same as pre-baby.

I'm sure I can think of more reasons but these will do. (Okay so my reasons really aren't myriad)

Breastfeeding is another thing that people questioned me about. Well, I love that too. Liam and I are super close. Maybe that's because I stay home all day with him and spend countless hours nurturing him (day and night). But I think one of the reasons is that I am his food source! We are bonded, because he is always hungry :-) Seriously though, a certain grandmother tried to give him a bottle before bed the other night and he was refusing it. My son was refusing food!!! This is unheard of.

Other things I like about breastfeeding are that it's convenient. I know I am feeding my son the food that God made specially for him. It's guaranteed snuggle time during the day. And, I am wearing the jeans I wore before I was pregnant.

Baby food. Liam is now eating fruits and veggies. I decided to make his food. Why is it that people think that just because Gerber manufactures something that means that ordinary people are unable to make that same thing? You can make baby food at home! I have made, peas, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, banana and pears. He has enjoyed every one of them. If you have a blender or a baby food mill you can do it. It's cost effective and convenient.

For more info on any of these topics:
http://www.theclothdiaperwhisperer.com/
http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/index.htm
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp

Where is the time going?

It's July. I haven't posted in what seems like FOR-EVER. Mostly this is because Facebook has become the coming online meeting place for just about everyone I know! Adventures with Liam have gotten a whole lot more predictable and he is just enmeshed into our everyday lives now. We have a great kiddo!

Super exciting things about Liam are as follows:
-His smile is a mile wide and he gives it freely to his Mama and Dadda.
-He goes to be with little to no fuss every night.
-He naps pretty regularly now and will nap at other peoples' houses, as long as he has a bed to lay on and is away from people.
-He's getting good at sitting up when propped.
-He's so big! He's between 16-17 lbs now :-)
-He no longer needs his little head support thing in his car seat.

There are many, many more...I just can't begin to name them all...

Scott and I have just recently started to get a little sad because he is growing so fast. We thought the beginning would never end, now we want everything to stop! I no longer care about interrupted sleep...I love picking him up and nursing the sleepy little guy and putting back into his crib to snuggle with his lovey. I tell Scott just about everyday..."I can't wait for the next one!"

All that to say that we are in L-O-V-E!

Much overdue update

I have been so remiss in blogging about our little guy! First of all, I have to say that God has given us incredible blessings that we obviously do not deserve. Liam is a great baby. There are challenges...namely sleeping and bedtime...and I'm sure there are plenty more in store for us. But thanks be to God that last night (after an hour of LOTS of crying) Liam went to sleep at 8:30 and did not wake up to eat until about 2 am and then did not wake up again until about 6:30. I am so thankful for the extra sleep!!! We have been working on Liam going to sleep in his crib without being rocked and nursed...sometimes he does it, sometimes he doesn't. The biggest deterent to him falling asleep on his own is if he is overly tired or cranky when we lay him down. If we lay him down happy then he's out with barely a peep!

Liam has no problems with eating...he's a champ in that area and his size proves it. At his 2 month check-up he was 13lbs and 24.5 inches (Birth was 8.10oz and 21.5 inches). He is now wearing 3-6 and 6 mo. clothes and is rocking his cloth diapers :-) We flew through 0-3 and 3 month clothes and now I have to pack up clothes that he wore maybe once! Now I'm trying to put him in something new everyday because I'm afraid he won't get to wear something that someone gave to him.

Liam's favorite things to do right now are play on his baby gym...he totally digs the classical music that plays from this sun that lights up with the music. Scott calls it a seizure light...but Liam just smiles and smiles at it. He loves to suck on his fingers and fist and to squirm all the time. He loves riding in the car and sitting in his swing, listening to his Daddy's voice and staring at his beautiful Mama :-)

Our love for him just grows and grows.

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